William Jacques 5.11.85 - 9.11.85 RIP

William was born 12 weeks prematurely, and died when he was 5 days old. This year would have seen him celebrate his 21st birthday. No parent should ever have to bury their own child.

I had suffered with a massive Deep Vein Thrombosis (DVT) during my first pregnancy, and, because of this, I was put on the anticoagulant drug Heparin, which induced early labour. When William was born at 28 weeks he too had received doses of the anticoagulant while in the womb, and as a result his blood was much thinner than it should have been.

William died at 2.00 am on 9 November, 1986, of a pneumothorax (collapsed lung) brought on by Respiratory Distress Syndrome (RDS) - this basically meant his lungs were not fully functional. Post-mortem showed that, because his blood was so thin, William had suffered a massive brain haemorrhage while being born. If he had lived, he would probably have been blind and brain damaged to a considerable extent.

Nevertheless, one is left to forever wonder what might have been.

A whole lifetime of cuddles and kisses never given, words never spoken, ideas never expressed and achievements never realised....

I'll lend you for a little time a child of mine."He said.
"For you to love while he lives,
And mourn for when he is dead.
It may be six or seven years, or twenty two or three.
But will you, till I call him back,
Take care of him for Me?
He'll bring his charms to gladden you,
And shall his stay be brief,
You'll have his lovely memories as solace for your grief.

I cannot promise he will stay,
since all from earth return,
But there are lessons taught down there,
I want this child to learn.
I've looked the wide world over,
In search for teachers true,
And from the throngs that crowd life's lane,
I have selected you.
Now you will give him all your love,
Nor think the labor vain,
Nor hate me when I come to call, to take him back again?

I fancied that I heard them say:
"Dear Lord, Thy will be done."
For all the joy thy child shall bring,
The risk of grief we'll run.
We'll shelter him with tenderness,
we'll love him while we may,
And for happiness we've known,
Forever grateful stay;
And should the angels come for him,
Much sooner than we'd planned,
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes,
And try to understand.